I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears
by Canadino
Summary: The truth hurts worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you. Character death. HaoLys


Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King, it's characters, and any song by Fallout Boy

I've Got All this Ringing in My Ears and None on my Fingers

Beginning instrumental

The room was dark; the dark green, almost black curtains drawn over the wide window in the bedroom. Shadows were everywhere and dark shapes littered the room. Clothes had been tossed over chairs, on the ground from last night. Only the digital clock on the bedside table gave the only reddish glow in the room. The sunlight from under the curtains tried to get in, but failed miserably and had to wait until someone came to push aside its barrier.

Ring! Ring! The alarm clock next to the queen size bed began to ring loudly and annoyingly. The black comforter next to the bedside drawer began to stir and a hand reached out to slap the clock to silence.

You're a canary 

_I'm a coalmine_

_Cause sorrow is just all the rage_

_Take one for the team, you all know what I mean._

Hao stretched as he sat up from the black sheets. He wasn't sure why they had chosen black for the bed. Maybe because it the color of forbidden love? He glanced at the bottom drawer of the bedside drawer, the place where he thought of lately. The place where it was held. He couldn't dwell on it now, not when he had to get an early start on the day.

As he started brushing his teeth, Hao noticed from the mirror in front of him that his sleeping partner had woken up and was moving around in the dark area of bedroom he had just left behind him. Looking forward at his reflection, he saw himself; dark brown eyes framed with identically colored dark brown hair that fell past his shoulders. He heard a shuffling of feet and wasn't surprised when a pair of arms reached out from either side of him and hugged him tight. He felt the body heat of the person who was hugging him and the mirror gave enough insight to the person behind him to reveal a messy-yet-still-beautiful mass of light green hair.

And I'm so sorry 

_But not really_

_Tell the boys where to find my body_

_New York eyes_

_Chicago thighs_

_Pushed up the window to kiss you off_

Hao watched as Lyserg walked toward the recording studio. How long had it been since Lyserg started his television show host carrier? Two years since the Shaman Fight? Two years since they started living together? Hao wasn't sure anymore. He tapped the steering wheel and was about to press his foot down on the gas when he saw the greenette stop and run back to the car. Hao rolled down the window to receive Lyserg's message and was caught off guard as the seventeen-year-old leaned into the car to press his lips upon the brunette's own. This act of love lasted only a second, yet it seemed to shake Hao to the core. Did Lyserg know what he had been thinking about for weeks? It appeared the greenette didn't know, since he leaned back out of the car and waved as he ran toward the studio.

Hao sat in the car for a moment longer before driving off.

The truth hurts worse 

_Than anything I could bring myself to do to you_

_The truth hurts worse_

_Than anything I could bring myself to do to you…_

The ocean breeze always seemed to calm Hao, even though he was practically obsessed with fire. There was something about the sound of the ocean breeze that was able to speak to his very soul…the soul that his younger brother had been able to reach to and save before he fell into destruction. Where was Yoh now? Probably in Japan, where he'd left over a year ago to follow Lyserg back to England.

Hao sat down on the coarse grass of the hills that neighbored the coastline. He let a notepad slide out from his grasp and onto the grass. This was going to be so hard to write…he didn't want to do it, but there was no other way out of it. He had to do it, even though he was sure he was going to be breaking so many hearts. Again, his mind wandered back to the object hidden in the lower drawer of the bedside table. He shook the thought from his mind and grabbed the pen from his pocket. Ignoring his car, the object that would take him to the next step to the end, Hao started writing.

Yoh: I've always been watching over you and I'll continue to do so even after this.

Anna: Always so refreshing…keep making Yoh stronger

Horohoro and Ren: Life's a bitch, you should know that. Viva life together!

Choco: Strongest elemental warrior and been through hell twice. Salute.

Lyserg:

Do you remember the way I held your hand 

_Under the lamp post and ran?_

_Oh…this way, so many times_

_I could close my eyes…_

Hao thought back to two years ago, when he was wandering the world looking for a purpose to a life whose sole purpose had already ended. Should he just call it quits? At that very moment, he looked up and realized there was someone in front of him, an angel of sorts. Lyserg. He was in London.

After a brief awkward misunderstanding, they had managed to come together, under a lamp post in the middle of the London Bridge. After that, Lyserg had jumpstarted his television carrier during a trip to Funbari Onsen involving a dazzled movie director and a few string pulling. Thus, the apartment two blocks away from the studio and the start of their life together.

Lyserg: Know that even through everything, I still love you.

The truth hurts worse 

_Than anything I could bring myself to do to you…_

The truth hurts worse 

_Than anything I could bring myself to do to you…_

Hao was driving back to the apartment complex, with the note in the passenger's seat. He passed a large store window, in which contents held five big screen televisions with England's favorite talk show host moving in-sync with the next. Hao gripped the steering wheel and wondered what the hell Lyserg was talking about today. Oh, that's right…separation from a loved one.

The apartment was quiet, just like it always was when Hao came back from dropping Lyserg off. He walked past the kitchen, whose fridge was humming the familiar monotonous tone that seemed to beckon when he was hungry. Hao passed the living room, the black leather sofa which the two had sat in the night before and where they did most of their 'heavy petting'. No, Hao passed all of that and went straight to the bedroom and to the bedside table. He knelt down and paused as his hand came to a rest on the knob. If he saw it again, he'd have to do it. He promised himself. If he opened the drawer now, there was no turning back. Was he sure?

Definitely.

Hao pulled open the drawer to reveal a single object. A silver, glinting razor blade.

The truth…hurts worse…than anything 

_I could bring myself to…_

Hao watched the blood spurt out slowly, like a faulty geyser. He made sure the suicide note was at its place, resting on the bed like it was supposed to be there. The razor lay next to him, gleaming innocently with the dark red substance on it. Hao closed his eyes and waited. Surely it wasn't going to take that long.

Then came the sound he dreaded. Crap. The door to the apartment had opened the shut and he heard Lyserg's voice from the door, calling his name. Any moment now, Lyserg was going to come in and find him sitting next to their bed…dying. He didn't want it to be like this. He didn't want the last scene he saw before he died was Lyserg's grief-stricken face. Hadn't he caused the boy enough grief? He tried to will the blood to come out fast as he heard Lyserg walk around the apartment they had shared together for two years, still calling his name. There was a note of joy in his voice that Hao was sure would turn sour in a few seconds…

The truth hurts worse 

_Than anything I could bring myself to do to you…_

Hao closed his eyes and cursed how he could have pulled the timing off as Lyserg rushed next to him, looking frantic. The greenette had been looking into the bedroom to find him bleeding on the ground. Hao smiled weakly as Lyserg tried to plead with him to stay, but his strength was starting to leave him…he really didn't want this…it was even harder to watch the greenette's eyes glisten with useless tears…there was nothing Lyserg could do to stop this.

The truth… 

A second later, Hao felt Lyserg pressed against him, their lips locked in a fierce, desperate attempt from Lyserg to stop Hao from dying. Hao nearly laughed; did Lyserg seriously think he was going to stop bleeding just because of this? As Lyserg pulled away, Hao felt his face feel wet…Lyserg had left some of his tears on his face. Still pleading, Lyserg tried to keep Hao alive, turning to the phone to call for help. Hao smiled to himself, weakly, as he saw the cut phone line; his plan was perfect, no help could come for him and he didn't want it to.

His strength was ebbing away and the pain…well, there really wasn't any pain, but he just felt tired…so very tired. He felt his eyes start to grow heavy and was jolted by Lyserg, who was trying to keep him awake. _Don't fall asleep, don't fall asleep!_ Hao smiled sheepishly…who was Lyserg trying to kid? He was a goner.

The truth… 

Hao knew he was only a few breaths away. He had always been in tune with everything around him, including himself. It was almost over for him. He smiled at Lyserg one last time, and as everything started getting blurry, he mouthed one last phrase, the phrase that would undoubtedly haunt Lyserg's dreams for the coming nights, for the coming years…_I love you_.

Taking one last breath, Hao closed his eyes.

Ah…ah…ah… 

_clapping, audience cheers_

Owari


End file.
